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ITR Political Rundown: What cologne does Obama wear? And Ralph does it again!

February 24th, 2008 · No Comments

ITR Politics

It’s time for an ITR political rundown, updating you on all the most IMPORTANT issues in this presidential election. And by important, we mean mostly irrelevant and inconsequential, but interesting nonetheless. In this post, is Axe, the body spray for young men, jumping on th Barack Obandwagon in order to sell cans? Also, what are Ralph Nader’s chances winning the Presidential election? (We’ll give you a hint here, it starts with “z” and rhymes with hero).

Hilary Clinton Axe Ad
I doubt Barack Obama wears Axe… but maybe that’s how he’s winning more of the women vote?

From copyranter, an ad by BBH New York for Axe body spray, featuring Hilary Clinton wearing a Barack Obama pin. Axe is the magical spray that in commercials makes the women flock to you, but in real life is usually used as a poor replacement for a shower by lazy teenagers, often fading away after about five minutes leaving them smelling funky and not a whole lot of fresh. The ad brings up a few questions. Does Barack Obama wear Axe or really want to sponsor Axe? Doubtful. Does Hilary Clinton want to be in pictures wearing a photoshopped Obama button? Even more doubtful. Are Axe ads completely over the top compared to how good the product is? You betcha. Obama is probably too classy for Axe right?

Ralph Nader
President of the vilified in spite of getting almost no votes club, Ralph Nader

Ralph Nader, or “Ralph Vader, younger cousin of Darth” as some Democrats call him is once again running for President of the United States. ITR has analyzed his chances, by crunching numbers and viewing fancy graphs with lots of lines and colors, and we put the probability of him winning the election at .04%. This is a fact. He has run as a third party candidate the last two elections, and has been criticized as the “jerk who let Bush win… twice,” which is just unfair! Certainly in 2004 it wasn’t Nader who cost the Democratic party the election, it was their decision to nominate a flip-floppy cardboard cut-out of a real person, err… John Kerry. People forget that Ralph Nader has done many good things in his life, and has his own Wikipedia page, so we are endorsing him as ITR’s chosen black horse candidate! You may not win Ralphie, but you still hold a place in our hearts as a man vilified in spite of completely sucking at winning the Presidency. The day you win the Presidency is the day Gary Coleman dunks a basketball one-handed from the free throw line. I’d pay to see the latter!

To wrap-up, ITR has officially endorsed Ralph Nader as our chosen 3rd party candidate, John McCain for the Republican nomination, and are ever so closer to endorsing Obama. We just have to make sure he’s going to win first, because we don’t get behind people who lose elections. Well, except Ralphie.

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