It’s time for another installment because we feel like America needs it!

In this installment of ITR’s Political Roundup, Hillary Clinton is called a monster and Ron Paul considers dropping out the race that he has no chance of winning. Yeah, it’s the stuff of politics that doesn’t matter, it’s the stuff of ITR’s Political Roundup, the political news you can’t use.

We are reusing this graphic because it’s a monstrosity

Speaking about Hilary Clinton in a “candid” interview, Samantha Power called Hillary Clinton a “monster… she is stooping to anything. You just look at her and think, ‘Ergh’… the amount of deceit she has put forward is really unattractive.” At least we know that Power is not superficial and sees past a person’s looks into their personality, as it’s Mrs. Clinton’s deceit and not her sometimes scary faces and tirades that make her like a “monster.” One thing is for certain, Hillary Clinton faces a monster challenge in winning the primary. As news sites and bloggers like to point out, the “math” is just not on her side. She needs to win landslide victories in all the remaining primaries just to have a shot at beating Obama in the category of elected delegates. However, she might be able to win through superdelegates. Which would probably just demoralize the young voters towards the Democratic Party and result in a Republican presidency. John McCain continues to lick his lips at the Democratic squabbling…

He wants to bring hope to America… we just hope he quits sometime.

Speaking of Republicans, Ron Paul has “hinted” that he is considering quitting the race. Without specifically withdrawing, Paul stated that victory in the convential political sense was not available, but hoped his nomination bid was the first step in many towards change in the country. Quitting the race might be a prudent move for Ron Paul, if you haven’t been following his “successes” you might want to know that he’s doing fairly bad. He did somehow raise $33 million dollars, but that netted him a grand total of… 14 delegates. To put that in comparison, Romney and Huckabee, who have both dropped out, had 282 and 262 delegates respectively. John McCain has 1,093 and has all but wrapped up the nomination needing only 98 more to clinch. So yeah, 14 to 1,093 is even more insurmountable than Hilary’s obstacles. Sorry Paul, but the math is not on your side… at all, it’s really, really not on your side.

On hearing how unlikely Hillary Clinton will win enough elected delegates to secure the nomination, we bravely but cautiously endorse Senator Barack Obama for the Democratic nomination! Let’s hope we aren’t wrong, because our endorsement of John McCain has proven pivotal to his success, and we only choose winners. Except for our endorsement of Ralph Nader as our chosen third-party candidate, he’s just an adorable election loser who never gives up! We admire that tenacity, and use similar tactics on girls and stuff…

• ITR Political Roundup: Pardons, Cocaine, and the French?
• ITR Political Rundown: What cologne does Obama wear? And Ralph does it again!
• Clinton plans to woo delegates pledged for Obama, with a smile?
• Scientists discover the “hexapus”, like an octopus minus two tentacles
• Link: FiveThirtyEight, “Electoral Projections Done Right”