26-year-old Cory L. Brown, a homeless man, robbed two New York City banks over the weekend. The banks were the Wachovia Bank at 731 Lexington Ave and the Commerce Bank at 260 West 26th Street. During the first robbery, the man put a flat plastic box on the counter and handed the teller a note saying he wanted stacks of $50 and $100 bills and warned he had a bomb that would go off if anyone was notified of the robbery. During the second robbery, the man handed the teller a note saying “Think. Stack of $100s. Stack of $50s. No arms, no heroes.” and handed over a drawing of a gun, probably to notify them of the type of weapon on his person, on a lotto ticket of all things.

Although the robberies were successful, the man’s ineptitude led to his downfall. After the second robbery, the man “fled” a whopping half a block before stopping to change out of his clothes, on the sidewalk, in plain sight. Surprisingly, no one stopped him and he was able to run off but a very very generous gift was left behind in the robber’s clothes.

You’re seriously not going to believe this because it’s just so far out there. In all our years we have never, ever heard of something this laughable. When police looked through the clothing the man left behind on the street, they were absolutley shocked at what they found inside the clothes. Brown was in such a hurry to get away that he forgot his wallet and all the paperwork he carried around to identify himself. By all, we mean just about every kind of identification you can use when you need to identify yourself, seriously. Among the man’s clothing were a “birth certificate, a welfare benefits card, a pay stub with his name on it, a MetroCard, a Social Security card, a resident-identification card from a homeless shelter, among other forms of identification.”

Seriously, he might as well have given the teller his name or worn a sign on his person stating he was a bank robber. Hell, he might as well have walked into a police station after committing the crimes because the police now have just about everything they need to find him. After reviewing the two notes left at the banks, police were able to establish the same man had committed both crimes. Now police are looking for Mr. Brown, presumably to give him back all the valuable documents he left behind. This guy was just begging to be caught. It’s understandable he was in a hurry and wanted to become unidentifiable as quickly as possible but he could have just run into an alley or something. Changing on the sidewalk was such a poor decision, among many others. Hopefully this guy doesn’t try to rip off another bank before he gets caught. Who knows, maybe this time he’ll be nice enough to leave behind a family tree or a list of contacts.

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