
Don’t mess with Jackie Chan!
Jackie Chan is due to carry the Olympic torch when it nears Beijing, earning the honor after appearing in stellar films such as “The Tuxedo”, in which he was a secret agent with a basically magic tuxedo that allowed him to do crazy stunts. But the action movie star still does his own stunts well into his 50’s, so when he makes a threat, you should take it seriously. In response to all the protests surrounding the Olympic Torch, Chan has warned that anyone who plans to stop him from carrying the torch might experience first-hand the opening of a can of Jackie Chan whoop-ass.
To be fair, when he mentioned “The Tuxedo,” as one of the many “fine” films Jackie Chan has starred in, we were being a little mean. He’s hilarious in the Rush Hour series, as the acrobatic sidekick to his polar opposite comrade, Chris Tucker. Aww, the racial humor is ripe in that one!
Jackie Chan is couching his desire to wield the Olympic torch in nationalistic tones, as the Olympics is a means through which China could “tell the world about Chinese culture.” But he knows that protesters have some good points to make. Jackie Chan seems wise, stating that “we are not right about everything. Things are getting better in China but we can change and are changing. We want to learn from the rest of the world as well as teach others about our ways and our culture.”
Of course, Mr. Chan probably won’t encounter much resistance in China, where resistance is futile in the face of an overwhelming Communist behemoth. But in case anyone wants to try… well… they’ll have to deal with the fists of fury that starred in Shanghai Noon, and no one wants to deal with that.
Related Entries:- Over 4,000 kids are now named “Olympic Games” in China
- Chinese discovering sex is fun - troubling for a country of 1.3 billion people
- Double-amputee sprinter ruled eligible for the Olympics, but are “Cheetah limbs” akin to cheating?
- Speedo swimsuit so good, who can win without it?
- America considered nuking China in 1958





0 responses so far ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.
Leave a Comment