According to some NYC night club bouncers, a growing number of young men have been slathering their chests with Preparation H, the hemorrhoid creme. The active ingredient in the creme works by constricting blood vessels around the treated area, causing less blood and fluid to be fed into the surrounding muscle. As a result, tissue constricts giving muscles a more defined look, in theory. Unsurprisingly, the reality is that applying the creme to your chest doesn’t really work and makes you look more crazy than chiseled.

People got the idea from bodybuilders who apply it to their biceps, love handles, etc in order to look more defined for competitions.

“Some individuals have naturally thicker skin due to their genetics, and even if they become lean and have low body fat, they still don’t look shredded,” said Steve Downs, vice president of International Natural Bodybuilding and Fitness Federation.

“Others have naturally thin skin and require less dieting to get into contest shape, and can look much more ripped and defined,” said Downs, who adds he has only heard of a few bodybuilders using Preparation H during his career.”

The truth of the matter is the creme will actually make your chest smaller, which makes perfect sense since it prevents blood and fluids from entering that part. Instead, Dr. Darrell S. Rigel, a dermatologist, recommends putting cayenne pepper on your skin because it will cause the skin over muscles to swell up. Your skin will probably be blood red but at least you’ll look muscular. Whatever it takes, right? Er…maybe not.

In addition, placing the creme on your skin may cause an allergic reaction, causing massive rashes and may also cause an increase in blood pressure. So, what can you take away from this? 1. Don’t put Preparation H anywhere other than your butt and 2. You can’t really substitute a creme for going to the gym. If you want to look buff, lift weights.

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